Well after letting family and close friends in on the news I can finally post that I'm going to be a first time Father around April. This has been a long and tiring process as my wife and I have been trying for quite some time and have had some issues.
For a long time I just wanted to live out my life with my wife and felt no need for a child. After many years of reflecting on this issue one day out of no where I just felt that I was willing to try. I'm still not sure what caused my change of heart maybe just the thought of not having anyone to call my own to pass things along too. Don't get me wrong I love my little guys and gals, children of close friends, and would have loved passing that information on to them but something changed one day. Maybe it was the fact I was no longer being told to make a child by others. Or maybe it was the reflection on the sense of loss I've had in the past finally coming into play. Hmmm guess I could keep on guessing but the final notice is I did change my mind.
After having the talk with my Wife about this change we made a decision to try. Well after a frustrating year of no luck we did have one success that was marred by complications that required surgery. Needless to say my worst fears had come to life and I'm a worrier by nature so that was tough. After that little setback we had to take a short break before trying again. In the meantime we moved down South to the Bay Area, I left my job and boom we've hit the jack pot coming out of the gates when we start trying again. Weird that you try for so long then have a stroke of bad luck and then things just go like clockwork.
Now we're past that initial safety mark that we felt comfortable sharing the news with friends and family. Now we're just on to the rest of the pregnancy which hopefully goes as smooth as the first part has. *knock* on wood!
When my wife first told me she scared the hell out of me, mostly because I was asleep and it was damn early in the morning. Then I freaked out a little bit. We were in temporary housing and it was still unknown what was going to happen with me, still is. Just so many things up in the air and then this it was just a little much. But now we've moved, I wouldn't quite say settled yet but getting there, into our town house and things are getting somewhat back to normal. So now it's just the normal fears: Will the baby be healthy? Will my Wife have any issues? I hope these are all normal and just not me being me.
For me I really don't want to know what the sex of the baby will be and I'm not sure if I can put into words why. Am I afraid of knowing 'til their here because I'm scarred that something might happen still and knowing might make it worse? Or is it just I just want a healthy kid and don't care to know until the happy day? The Psyche sure can play tricks on you can't it. It just seems sometimes I never know the real reason for a decision I make.
But if asked what I hope for and the quick, easy and first thing that comes to mind is a little girl. Now my Aunts on my Mom's side of the family should find that quite hilarious as I used to complain to them that they were 0-x because they had girl(s) and no boys. When my brother came along I would also add that my Mom was 2-0! LOL! Speaking of my Mom when thinking upon why I'd like a girl I think it comes down to her and wanting to give her a girl from her son. I know that sounds weird and probably even stupid but it is the only answer I can seem to find.
On a more where we are note so far we've had 3 ultra-sounds and everything is looking good so far. *knock* *knock* The Wife is still not feeling all that well as food just does not treat her well at all. We're hoping that passes soon as it's making her life very unpleasant right now. I'm also hoping her aversion to Peanut Butter stops soon as it's one of my favorite things! We also heard that she needs to eat some spicy food so that the kid will like it. Ugh that will be hard as my Wife is a wimp when it comes to spicy. I love things hot and spicy can't get enough really.
Well that's it for now will write more as we have more to pass along.
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2 comments:
You know I am super excited for you guys.
Its hard not to worry so much. There are a lot of "what ifs" with a pregnancy, delivery, baby. I understand. But, this is why you have tests and wonderful doctors. They have seen everything under the sun and can help you though anything that might arise. Your job is to not worry, let them take care of everything, and look forward to being a dad. Its a wild ride!! I am sure you are going to enjoy it.
Lots of love and congrats!
Dena
Most certainly, a wild ride! :)
You both will make wonderful parents and we all look forward to meeting the little one when he or she makes an appearance.
In regards to your comment, B!, "Weird that you try for so long then have a stroke of bad luck and then things just go like clockwork." From what I understand, once you get pregnant once, it is easier to get pregnant the next time around. It was certainly true for us. :)
Not knowing the sex is very fun!
Give our best to your wife. :)
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